"Man-Toe" Elvis and More Scary Shit - and yes, there are mullets

Welcome back, readers. The Bubba is back with some more fun finds and examples of what's wrong with humanity.

This first photo, while it's definitely a cute and possibly staged photo, has one major problem with it. See if you can find it.



Did you catch it? It's not that the baby is going for the beer, nor the fact that his parents aren't stopping him. It's fucking Milwaukee's Best Light! For the love of God, don't let him drink schwag beer.

Looking at this photo, the man in the back is nicely dressed and the area they are in is clean and well kept.

So why, then, would someone do that to a child who doesn't know any better? Put some Newcastle or at the very least a Budweiser or Coors Light out for the kid. You start him with standards that low and this next picture shows how he'll end up.



Here you see the modern day Cro-Magnon man. I truly enjoy his eloquence paired with his Harley Davidson bling. This here is proof that if you set too low of standards at an early age, you'll be living by the same rules as BJ (See Jan. 5th's entry, More Mullets and a Redneck Baby).

There are a couple other hidden gems in this picture. Not only is Cro-Mag clearly shouting BJ's anthem, "Shirts are for queers," but he's also sporting a beer coozie which I'm sure has some witty pun printed on it. Meanwhile, check out the pony-mullet on the right, clearly pretending to read what his coozie says.



Next up, we've got another example of poor choices, the Hair Metal Chainsaw Massacre.



Not a whole lot to say here except these two things. First, if you're going to sport a chain saw to look like a bad ass, don't get one made by Fisher Price. Second, this guy obviously doesn't have any good friends, or an intervention would have stopped this crime of fashion well before it came to this.



Moving on, let's see another great example of mixing poor fashion decisions and inbreeding.



You might be questioning how this might be a fashion faux pas, but here we see Chewbacca making 2 bad choices: he's rocking a mullet and why would he ever think it would be alright to go shirtless in public?

I know, I know. The sun is glistening beautifully through his thick and luscious back mane. He's clearly put a lot of time, energy and money conditioning and grooming his dorsal coiffure. But do we need to see it? The answer to that question is no. And besides, if I was sitting behind that at a ball game, all I'd be thinking about is how his ass must look like he's giving birth to Bob Marley's head.

Besides, if you're going to be that big of a hill fuck, why didn't he shave his team's logo into his back canvas?



At this point, your probably sitting there saying, "But Bubba, where do these people come from?" That, my dear reader, is a great question, but very similar to the chicken and the egg dilemma.

While I can't tell you exactly where it started, I can point to people like this that help the proliferation of their species.

Here, for the first time on The Bubba Has Spoken, I present to you the Pregobillies.



I don't even know how to describe the crimes against humanity witnessed in this photo. There's no point in trying to wrap my mind around what is worse, the fact that he's grabbing her ass or that the Sears PhotoMart is delving into soft core porn.



Please, my good people, help me by spreading the word. Allowing your friends and family to make bad decisions will only bring our society down at an exponential rate. At some point someone needs to tell them to stop.

Don't believe me? Then look at this guy:



Yes, he has "man-toe" and he's not embarrassed by it. That could be because it's physically impossible for him to see that area of his body, but I doubt it. Anyone with a figure such as his who willingly goes out of his way to don a unitard doesn't give a shit.

Sorry for not warning you kids about that last photo, but hell, if I'm going to get my point across I needed you to see that.

I hope you've all enjoyed this latest journey down the twisted road of life, and I'll be back soon with some more misfits and muppets.

'Nuff said. The Bubba has spoken.