Welcome back my faithful followers! I must apologize for my long absence from the blog, but after my Griffins lost in the playoffs and the Red Wings... Well you know.
But none the less, I'm back and more grizzled than ever! You all know I love my infomercials, but I've got to say I'm appalled at the most recent one I came across. Check it out for yourselves:
Hello? Isn't a "cupcake" supposed to be the size of a FUCKING CUP??? And if it's not bad enough that Americans are all fat, there is proof in the commercial that we teach our kids to be spoiled assholes.
Did you see those two little douche bags that were pissed because their sugary treat was barely larger than grown man's fist? It wasn't until the disembodied hands put out the diabetic shock known as a Big Top Cupcake that those choads were satisfied.
Now if that isn't bad enough, look at this:
Tell me what tubby, elephantine, sack of bacon grease can't learn how to use a knife and NEEDS this product. And seriously, if kids need a cupcake as big as a dwarf's head, aren't they just going to eat the sheet of brownies anyway?
I fucking hate society. But before I jump to conclusions that all Americans are nothing but fat, gluttonous processing centers, check this one out:
Well, I'll be damned! Maybe I was wrong. Come to think of it, I constantly see people dumping out over half a can of pop or beer all the time. I mean seriously, who can drink 12 ounces of anything?
God, I can only hope people that use these products suffer the humiliation they deserve.
Well, as a reward for putting up with this stupid crap, I thought I'd share one of my favorite SNL commercial parodies with you. So sit back and enjoy...
Litter Critters
Saturday Night Live | MySpace Video
I'll be back more often, I promise, but for now dear readers:
'Nuff said. The Bubba has spoken.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Going Moose hunting, and Aaron Downey's got his hunting liscense.
Well, the boys have done it. The Red Wings have embarrassed Columbus in the first round, and after a tough fight, the Griffins overcame the Hamilton Bulldogs in six games.
So here we are. Ready to kick some more ass.
And in case any of you were doubting the power of the Griffins' Gladiator himself, here's a some clips of Mr. Aaron Downey beating the fuck out of a couple of people.
Let's start with the ass whooping he gave Alex Henry from Hamilton earlier this season.
Sorry for the poor quality, but can't expect much from a hand held cam in the audience.
Here's one that shows that this man will not go down. Little better quality, but a much more even match up.
And finally, for those of you that aren't sure of the power of this man, let me show you this from Downey's time with the Dallas Stars. Don't blink, this one's over fast.
So come on down the Van Andel Arena. The home games start Monday, May 4th. The next game will be the Wednesday following, with a potential Friday night game if necessary. And if that happens, I expect the $1 beer/hot dog deal to happen again.
These games will be fast and hard hitting, and the Griffins are looking to bring the Calder Cup home.
What are you waiting for. You know you want it. Come and get it.
'Nuff said. The Bubba has spoken.
So here we are. Ready to kick some more ass.
And in case any of you were doubting the power of the Griffins' Gladiator himself, here's a some clips of Mr. Aaron Downey beating the fuck out of a couple of people.
Let's start with the ass whooping he gave Alex Henry from Hamilton earlier this season.
Sorry for the poor quality, but can't expect much from a hand held cam in the audience.
Here's one that shows that this man will not go down. Little better quality, but a much more even match up.
And finally, for those of you that aren't sure of the power of this man, let me show you this from Downey's time with the Dallas Stars. Don't blink, this one's over fast.
So come on down the Van Andel Arena. The home games start Monday, May 4th. The next game will be the Wednesday following, with a potential Friday night game if necessary. And if that happens, I expect the $1 beer/hot dog deal to happen again.
These games will be fast and hard hitting, and the Griffins are looking to bring the Calder Cup home.
What are you waiting for. You know you want it. Come and get it.
'Nuff said. The Bubba has spoken.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
The Playoffs are here, and we're ready!
Hello again my faithful readers! Sorry that The Bubba has been gone for so long, but I don't always have as much time to devote to this little corner of the net as I'd like.
That said, I'm going to keep this somewhat short as well.
For those of you that don't enjoy hockey, what the hell is wrong with you? I'm not going to expand on why hockey is the best sport in the world, but I will challenge you pansy asses to go to a game and watch for yourself.
I think it's summed up best by the Detroit Red Wing and Grand Rapids Griffins right wing and consummate ass kicker, Aaron Downey. "What we've got to do is just create awareness that this is a heckuva sport we're playing here. You know what, it's the only sport that's left that there's gladiator Roman times still in the sport and bare knuckle fighting and we should be proud of that for crying out loud. We're talking about real men here." (Taken from the James Myrtle interview, The Role of a Fighter: Aaron Downey)
Amen, Brother. Amen.
So for those of you that are real men or at least appreciate them (the girls from T-Shirt Size: Awesome, for instance), make sure you get out and support these two fantastic organizations.
Let's start with the Griffins.
The first round we're up against the Hamilton Bulldogs, who after our loss to them last night, secured second place in the division and home ice advantage. The first game is Friday in Hamilton, and our first home game is Monday, April 20th.
Get yourself down to the Van and come cheer these boys on! They've been working hard all year, and chances are good you'll get to see Downey kick someone's ass.
Next up, we've got the beloved Detroit Red Wings.
While the playoff schedule hasn't been determined or released yet, I can promise you that these gladiators of the ice will deliver some brutal beauty on the ice once again.
UPDATE: THE SCHEDULE IS UP. FIRST GAME IS ON THURSDAY NIGHT AT THE JOE. I'LL BE THERE, ON THE GLASS, SO BITE ME!
And for those of you that enjoy in tradition, such as myself, take a look at the new photo for the playoff slogan released by the Red Wings: The Beard Is Back
And by the way, the Red Wings are also growing beards for charity and asking their fans to do it as well. If you're interested, you can find more info on their website.
So for now, I've got a few days left before I start growing my playoff beard, and I suggest you all throw away your razors as well until Lord Stanley's Cup and the Calder Cup come back home to Detroit and Grand Rapids.
Lace 'em up, boys. It's time to kick some ass.
'Nuff said. The Bubba has spoken.
That said, I'm going to keep this somewhat short as well.
For those of you that don't enjoy hockey, what the hell is wrong with you? I'm not going to expand on why hockey is the best sport in the world, but I will challenge you pansy asses to go to a game and watch for yourself.
I think it's summed up best by the Detroit Red Wing and Grand Rapids Griffins right wing and consummate ass kicker, Aaron Downey. "What we've got to do is just create awareness that this is a heckuva sport we're playing here. You know what, it's the only sport that's left that there's gladiator Roman times still in the sport and bare knuckle fighting and we should be proud of that for crying out loud. We're talking about real men here." (Taken from the James Myrtle interview, The Role of a Fighter: Aaron Downey)
Amen, Brother. Amen.
So for those of you that are real men or at least appreciate them (the girls from T-Shirt Size: Awesome, for instance), make sure you get out and support these two fantastic organizations.
Let's start with the Griffins.
The first round we're up against the Hamilton Bulldogs, who after our loss to them last night, secured second place in the division and home ice advantage. The first game is Friday in Hamilton, and our first home game is Monday, April 20th.
Get yourself down to the Van and come cheer these boys on! They've been working hard all year, and chances are good you'll get to see Downey kick someone's ass.
Next up, we've got the beloved Detroit Red Wings.
While the playoff schedule hasn't been determined or released yet, I can promise you that these gladiators of the ice will deliver some brutal beauty on the ice once again.
UPDATE: THE SCHEDULE IS UP. FIRST GAME IS ON THURSDAY NIGHT AT THE JOE. I'LL BE THERE, ON THE GLASS, SO BITE ME!
And for those of you that enjoy in tradition, such as myself, take a look at the new photo for the playoff slogan released by the Red Wings: The Beard Is Back
And by the way, the Red Wings are also growing beards for charity and asking their fans to do it as well. If you're interested, you can find more info on their website.
So for now, I've got a few days left before I start growing my playoff beard, and I suggest you all throw away your razors as well until Lord Stanley's Cup and the Calder Cup come back home to Detroit and Grand Rapids.
Lace 'em up, boys. It's time to kick some ass.
'Nuff said. The Bubba has spoken.
Monday, March 23, 2009
The Sunshine Girls are finally Nude! OK, they're not, but read on anyway.
Welcome, welcome you twisted little bastards! The old Bubba here is sure happy to see you back, but can't figure out why some of you return. Ah, I don't care why, so keep it to yourself, but I'll admit I sure am pleased at least a few of you are hooked!
And just a little shout out to all my European friends out there. Who knew looking up the words "Sunshine Girls Nude" on Google would send so many perverts to my blog? So keep whacking it, Europervs, and maybe I'll find some more dirty Gunther for you soon! For those of you not familiar with Gunther and The Sunshine Girls, go back a couple of months in my blog and you'll find out what we're talking about.
Enough of that, today I've got a few little nuggets of uncomfortableness for you. I can't really say that there's a theme here other than things that I like and make my balls crawl up inside me at the same time. Although I will say there's a lot of Japanese influence, but those crazy fuckers make some really strange shit.
First up is a little bank that eats your coins. Check it out.
Leave it up to the Japanese to come up with something as strange as this. Of course, I don't know what it says about me that I want one. For any of you that might be interested, they're not impossible to find online for sale, but they are somewhat scarce. They'll also set you back about $25 to $50 of your hard earned cash.
The next chunk of tough love I've got is a commercial for, well, fuck it. Just watch it and see for yourself.
Girthy. Creepy. I don't want to talk about this anymore. Why do I see this guy in a court room where a child has to describe things using the "Good Touch/Bad Touch" doll?
Next up, we've got a Japanese potty training video. Make sure you watch the whole thing, because after the cartoon is over it gets worse.
That fucking kid was about to give himself a coronary pushing that turd out! Seriously, though, what the fuck is wrong with our friends from the Far East? How is that OK? The worst part is, I think it's about the equivalent of an informercial for kids using the crapper.
And where exaclty do you get the handle attachment for your shitter at? I'm thinking there are definitely times when I wouldn't mind one of those.
Well, finally, I've got this flushable lump of advertising for you. I think if McDonald's was presented to us like this here in the States, we might all be a bit thinner.
Hungry now? Nope, me either.
Well, kids, that's all I've got for you today. Enjoy and I'll be back soon with some more disturbing views on all that is wrong with the world. Until then...
'Nuff said. The Bubba has spoken.
And just a little shout out to all my European friends out there. Who knew looking up the words "Sunshine Girls Nude" on Google would send so many perverts to my blog? So keep whacking it, Europervs, and maybe I'll find some more dirty Gunther for you soon! For those of you not familiar with Gunther and The Sunshine Girls, go back a couple of months in my blog and you'll find out what we're talking about.
Enough of that, today I've got a few little nuggets of uncomfortableness for you. I can't really say that there's a theme here other than things that I like and make my balls crawl up inside me at the same time. Although I will say there's a lot of Japanese influence, but those crazy fuckers make some really strange shit.
First up is a little bank that eats your coins. Check it out.
Leave it up to the Japanese to come up with something as strange as this. Of course, I don't know what it says about me that I want one. For any of you that might be interested, they're not impossible to find online for sale, but they are somewhat scarce. They'll also set you back about $25 to $50 of your hard earned cash.
The next chunk of tough love I've got is a commercial for, well, fuck it. Just watch it and see for yourself.
Girthy. Creepy. I don't want to talk about this anymore. Why do I see this guy in a court room where a child has to describe things using the "Good Touch/Bad Touch" doll?
Next up, we've got a Japanese potty training video. Make sure you watch the whole thing, because after the cartoon is over it gets worse.
That fucking kid was about to give himself a coronary pushing that turd out! Seriously, though, what the fuck is wrong with our friends from the Far East? How is that OK? The worst part is, I think it's about the equivalent of an informercial for kids using the crapper.
And where exaclty do you get the handle attachment for your shitter at? I'm thinking there are definitely times when I wouldn't mind one of those.
Well, finally, I've got this flushable lump of advertising for you. I think if McDonald's was presented to us like this here in the States, we might all be a bit thinner.
Hungry now? Nope, me either.
Well, kids, that's all I've got for you today. Enjoy and I'll be back soon with some more disturbing views on all that is wrong with the world. Until then...
'Nuff said. The Bubba has spoken.
Monday, March 16, 2009
I'm going to get a vasectomy. Well, I'll at least think twice about procreating after this.
Well, kiddies, after a bit of a hiatus, I'm back to creep you out with some more random bullshit.
I've always said that I love kids, but I can never finish a whole one. This group of videos may make me retract that statement.
I think from now on, I'll just leave it at kids can creep the fuck out of me. Look at this one!
I mean, seriously. What would you do if that was your kid? Or worse yet, what if he's the best genetic material his parents could come up with?
I'm only bringing this up, because last week while having a nice meal with a dear friend, I was subjected to a stare down with a baby. A fucking baby! And I lost. The little fucker was terrifying, and gave me the stink eye for a solid 3 minutes. I've never been so scared in all my life.
While the video below is of a child, it was pretty similar to this:
Yes, I know it's fake and all, but that's about the way I felt.
Some of you may be parents, aunts, uncles, or what ever you may be. I'm not here to knock on some innocent child, but to prove a point. Some kids just scare the living shit out of me. It's not that some aren't cute. It's just a fact there are some that make me pee a little when they look at me.
This next one is a perfect example of what I mean by that terrifying stare that babies have.
Am I the only one, or are you as uncomfortable as I am?
Here's another one. While I know this one is supposed to be "funny," it's really quite horrifying.
You tell me you wouldn't shit in your pajamas if you woke up with that little girl at the end of your bed turning her head around like that.
And don't even try to tell me that kids are the freakiest things on the planet. Why do you think movies like "The Ring" and "The Shining" are as scary as they are? Because the kids will fucking curdle your blood. I'm not even going to put a clip up of this one, but all I have to do is say, "Come play with us" and I promise you know exactly what I mean!
So there you have it. My fear of small children exposed. And since I'm on the creepy kick, I think I'll toss out this last little gem I found.
Meet Baby Laugh-a-Lot. Sure it's a doll. Sure it's a commercial from the 60's. But it's fucking scary.
So sleep tight, kids. I think next I may bring out some haunted dolls or some other nightmarish toys that will make you all wonder how we ever fucking made it without losing our minds.
'Nuff said. The Bubba has spoken.
I've always said that I love kids, but I can never finish a whole one. This group of videos may make me retract that statement.
I think from now on, I'll just leave it at kids can creep the fuck out of me. Look at this one!
I mean, seriously. What would you do if that was your kid? Or worse yet, what if he's the best genetic material his parents could come up with?
I'm only bringing this up, because last week while having a nice meal with a dear friend, I was subjected to a stare down with a baby. A fucking baby! And I lost. The little fucker was terrifying, and gave me the stink eye for a solid 3 minutes. I've never been so scared in all my life.
While the video below is of a child, it was pretty similar to this:
Yes, I know it's fake and all, but that's about the way I felt.
Some of you may be parents, aunts, uncles, or what ever you may be. I'm not here to knock on some innocent child, but to prove a point. Some kids just scare the living shit out of me. It's not that some aren't cute. It's just a fact there are some that make me pee a little when they look at me.
This next one is a perfect example of what I mean by that terrifying stare that babies have.
Am I the only one, or are you as uncomfortable as I am?
Here's another one. While I know this one is supposed to be "funny," it's really quite horrifying.
You tell me you wouldn't shit in your pajamas if you woke up with that little girl at the end of your bed turning her head around like that.
And don't even try to tell me that kids are the freakiest things on the planet. Why do you think movies like "The Ring" and "The Shining" are as scary as they are? Because the kids will fucking curdle your blood. I'm not even going to put a clip up of this one, but all I have to do is say, "Come play with us" and I promise you know exactly what I mean!
So there you have it. My fear of small children exposed. And since I'm on the creepy kick, I think I'll toss out this last little gem I found.
Meet Baby Laugh-a-Lot. Sure it's a doll. Sure it's a commercial from the 60's. But it's fucking scary.
So sleep tight, kids. I think next I may bring out some haunted dolls or some other nightmarish toys that will make you all wonder how we ever fucking made it without losing our minds.
'Nuff said. The Bubba has spoken.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
I'll be back...
Got a hectic week ahead, kids, so to keep you busy for a while, I found this tasty little nugget.
God, it's going to be a great fucking summer for nerd films!
'Nuff said. The Bubba has spoken.
God, it's going to be a great fucking summer for nerd films!
'Nuff said. The Bubba has spoken.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
The Bubba fills a request...
Welcome back for another episode of life with The Bubba. After my last post, Stef - whom you may know from another little blog out there - requested that I throw up a clip from one of my all time favorite shitty movies. And yes, I do mean throw up.
So for those of you that aren't familiar with this one, let me give you a quick heads up. The movie is called "Killer Klowns from Outer Space". Catchy, I know. So is herpes.
Well, besides the fantastic acting and the years ahead of it's time special effects, it's also got one of the best theme songs ever. So sit back, grab your barf bucket and enjoy the original theatrical trailer for this cinematic delight!
I know, you're all sitting there, going, "But Bubba, you seem to have such fantastic taste. How could you love this?" The answer: I was easily influenced in my younger years. In fact, to prove it, I'm going to give you a couple more trailers from films in my collection.
#####UPDATE#####
I just found out that comedian Christopher Titus has a very small role in this film. You can see him in the opening scene of the film walking in front of the cop car drinking beer from a grocery bag.
Coming up next you'll see another "horror" film called "Near Dark", which surprisingly enough has some actors in it you might know. For those of you nerds like me, you'll recognize Lance Henrikson aka "Bishop" from the "Alien" films. You'll also find Bill Paxton playing the crazy and bad vampire named Severn. And finally, for you "Heroes" fans, you'll see Adrian Pasdar, aka "Nathan Petrelli" in the lead role. Enjoy!
Now, for those of you horror and vampire fans, this is worth watching. I'm not saying it's good, but it's better than that Alyssa Milano vampire flick that only gets rented because she's naked in it.
Next up for you I've got the cream of the crop of shitty movies I love. This one I made my lovely friend Stef watch, and while she didn't enjoy it, she felt compelled to see it all the way through. Not because it was good, but because it's like seeing a two headed fetal pig in a jar. You just can't take your eyes off of it.
So here it is, the trailer for the Corey Feldman and Corey Haim monstrosity called "Dream a Little Dream".
So I know you're sitting there saying to yourself, "What the fuck is that movie about?" I'll tell you this. I have no fucking clue. I've seen the damn flick probably 100 times if not more, and I still don't understand it. So go rent it, or buy it, and you'll hate me and love me all at the same time.
Finally, I'm going to bring you a little joy. For those of you still clinging on to this parade of cult classics, I wanted you to see one of the gems of my collection. No man, woman or child should go through life without ever seeing the masterpiece known as "They Live". All I'm going to say is Rowdy Roddy Piper is a god among men. Get your bibs, you just might drool a little.
That movie has the best line ever written in a film, and I know you caught it. Yep. That's right. It was the line about the bubble gum. Seriously, if you haven't seen this one, you need to.
Finally, for no other reason than the fact that I was fulfilling a request from Stef, I'm going to throw one more clip in here. And I just felt like having something completely random and out of place in this post.
Many of you have probably seen this, but in case Stef hasn't, this one is for her. Here's some kitties for you!
So I hope you've enjoyed this little journey, and I might be back with some other very obscure movies otherwise referred to as shit in the next few days.
'Nuff said. The Bubba has spoken.
So for those of you that aren't familiar with this one, let me give you a quick heads up. The movie is called "Killer Klowns from Outer Space". Catchy, I know. So is herpes.
Well, besides the fantastic acting and the years ahead of it's time special effects, it's also got one of the best theme songs ever. So sit back, grab your barf bucket and enjoy the original theatrical trailer for this cinematic delight!
I know, you're all sitting there, going, "But Bubba, you seem to have such fantastic taste. How could you love this?" The answer: I was easily influenced in my younger years. In fact, to prove it, I'm going to give you a couple more trailers from films in my collection.
#####UPDATE#####
I just found out that comedian Christopher Titus has a very small role in this film. You can see him in the opening scene of the film walking in front of the cop car drinking beer from a grocery bag.
Coming up next you'll see another "horror" film called "Near Dark", which surprisingly enough has some actors in it you might know. For those of you nerds like me, you'll recognize Lance Henrikson aka "Bishop" from the "Alien" films. You'll also find Bill Paxton playing the crazy and bad vampire named Severn. And finally, for you "Heroes" fans, you'll see Adrian Pasdar, aka "Nathan Petrelli" in the lead role. Enjoy!
Now, for those of you horror and vampire fans, this is worth watching. I'm not saying it's good, but it's better than that Alyssa Milano vampire flick that only gets rented because she's naked in it.
Next up for you I've got the cream of the crop of shitty movies I love. This one I made my lovely friend Stef watch, and while she didn't enjoy it, she felt compelled to see it all the way through. Not because it was good, but because it's like seeing a two headed fetal pig in a jar. You just can't take your eyes off of it.
So here it is, the trailer for the Corey Feldman and Corey Haim monstrosity called "Dream a Little Dream".
So I know you're sitting there saying to yourself, "What the fuck is that movie about?" I'll tell you this. I have no fucking clue. I've seen the damn flick probably 100 times if not more, and I still don't understand it. So go rent it, or buy it, and you'll hate me and love me all at the same time.
Finally, I'm going to bring you a little joy. For those of you still clinging on to this parade of cult classics, I wanted you to see one of the gems of my collection. No man, woman or child should go through life without ever seeing the masterpiece known as "They Live". All I'm going to say is Rowdy Roddy Piper is a god among men. Get your bibs, you just might drool a little.
That movie has the best line ever written in a film, and I know you caught it. Yep. That's right. It was the line about the bubble gum. Seriously, if you haven't seen this one, you need to.
Finally, for no other reason than the fact that I was fulfilling a request from Stef, I'm going to throw one more clip in here. And I just felt like having something completely random and out of place in this post.
Many of you have probably seen this, but in case Stef hasn't, this one is for her. Here's some kitties for you!
So I hope you've enjoyed this little journey, and I might be back with some other very obscure movies otherwise referred to as shit in the next few days.
'Nuff said. The Bubba has spoken.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
