Be polite, you narcissistic fuckwads!

Well, hello again you little tryptophan junkies. I hope you're all juiced up from your turkey gorging and ready to take a lesson in manners from Bubba himself. That's right, I'm a polite mother fucker, so shut your pie hole and get out your pencils.

Today's lesson is cell phone etiquette.

Rule #1: If you're in a public setting, turn your ringer to silent.

I don't give a flying rat's ass what your ring tone is. You're not cool because you've got some new song on your phone, or Stewie Griffin saying some hilarious comment. Turn it the fuck off. You're not that important, and just because your phone rings doesn't mean you are.

Rule #2: Again, when in a public setting, take your phone off of speaker.

This rule applies to everyone, but mostly to Nextel subscribers like me. You have a button on your phone that takes it off of speaker. Everyone at the monster truck rally doesn't need to know that your cousin has herpes. Honestly, would you hold a conversation with someone standing next to you at that same volume level? Shut the fuck up, we don't want to hear you.

Rule #3: If you're in a movie, play, recital, or other quiet place, don't answer your phone.

Once again, dick wads, you are not the center of the fucking universe. If the call is that important, either A) take it outside, or B) maybe you shouldn't fucking be there. Leave you ignorant self centered scrote.

Rule #4: If you don't want to answer your phone, don't let it sit there and ring until voice mail picks it up.

I get it, you have caller ID and you think you're being coy by letting voice mail answer the call from the creepy stalker dude. Fine. Don't answer it. TURN OFF THE FUCKING RINGER!!!

And by the way, you're not fooling anyone by not answering it. In fact, if I constantly sent you to voice mail, I think you'd get the hint faster.

The people around you shouldn't have to suffer through your ringer - or God forbid, a stupid fucking ring tone (see above) - just because you got wasted and gave someone your number (and your bodily fluids). I'm sure you were in a rut and wanted to make sure the plumbing worked and that's why you mounted that sea donkey. You made the mistake, I don't want to hear about it. By the way, get to the clinic and get some crackers for the steaming cheese growing between your thighs resulting from that lovely night.

Rule #4.1 You were rude enough to let your phone ring until voice mail answered it. Silence it now!

OK, cock breath, you thought that by not answering, the person you were avoiding would assume that you were busy and you would call back later. Wrong.

They're going to do 2 things. First, they'll leave a message, and don't act so fucking shocked when your ringer goes off letting you know you have voice mail. Second, they're going to call back because that's what stalkers and other anal retentive shit holes do. So do us all a favor, either shut your phone off or shut it up.

Rule #5: If you're hanging out with friends, don't constantly be on your phone - this includes texting especially.

This is the most important rule of all. Whether you were invited out or you invited your friends to come out, the idea that you send to your friends is this: You're way less important than ANY other person that may be calling or texting me. I'm going to make you wait, because not only are these other people more important than you, but I am too.

If all you're going to do is text back and forth like grade school girls wondering when their vaginas will start bleeding, stay the fuck home. Your friends are there to hang out with you because they enjoy your company, but trust me you stupid ass hat, that won't last long. You'll prove to them that you're no fun, can't hold a conversation and that they have no value to you.

Enjoy texting the rest of the self centered dill holes out there, because no one else will want to talk to you.

Rule #6: If you must answer your phone, read or respond to a text, or listen to a message, apologize to everyone around you immediately.

There are times when we need to take phone calls and respond to messages. Apologize for doing so, and take the phone away from the table or other gathering area. This will make your friends less uncomfortable and you'll look less like a douche bag.

Rule #7: Lastly, if you have room mates or other people that live with you, turn your phone or ringer off before you go to bed unless you're going to keep it in your room with you.

We all have different bed times, and for those that go to bed early, they shouldn't have to be woken up. In the quiet paradise that is your double wide, it's unnecessary to keep your ringer turned all the way up. I'm sure the whole trailer park can hear it, even over your neighbor getting wasted on 5 o'clock gin and jerking off to his wife's Garfield t-shirt.

For those that stay up later, they shouldn't have to go turn your ringer off because you're sound asleep and it keeps going for 20 fucking minutes or until someone shuts it off. Oh, and if this is you, don't get pissed when you realize you missed a call even though you didn't have the little note on the screen when you woke up from your grizzly bear slumber. In fact, you should fucking apologize.


So there it is, kids, just a few rules to keep you from being ostracized or strung up like the egomaniacal bloody crotch rag you really are. Try to be a little courteous and you'll probably find people won't want to kick you in the balls as often.

'Nuff said. The Bubba has spoken.

Taking a Technological Holiday

Hello again readers, both faithful and new!

Here's to wishing you all a great Thanksgiving! Take at least one moment and realize how great we really have it. Honestly and without bitching, I'm just awed by how fast technology can move. I'll complain about it later, but take a step back and try to remember life before cell phones and the internet. If you're too young, try to imagine.

12 years ago you were in the minority if you had a cell phone. We had answering machines on our home phones, and some of us even had caller ID. Now, people look at you like a freak if you don't have a cell phone. I'm damn near an outcast because I removed text messaging from my phone.

15 years ago the internet was really just a toddler or adolescent at best. It was mostly text based, and there were things called BBS's instead of chat rooms. There was no streaming anything. And it was ALL dial up. Really fucking slow dial up.

I could go on and on, but more times than not, I long for the times before technology encroached my personal space. Maybe I'll just do my best to take myself off the grid for one day and enjoy a holiday. I'm not going to say more on this right now, because today I want to be thankful for my friends, my family, and for you who are reading this.

Yes, YOU.

Maybe you like the stupid stories I tell. Maybe you like feeling pissed off when you read something that goes against your beliefs. Maybe you feel validation if you agree with me. Or maybe you're Josh, and you just think I'm an asshole. ('Sup Josh!)

Regardless, thank you for reading and contributing, and I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving!

'Nuff said. The Bubba has spoken.

What happened to the values our country used to have?

Hello again to you faithful few who come here for whatever your reasons!

I'm going to take a step back and just give you some questions to ponder, things that have been running through my mind. I don't have concrete answers to these questions, but I have my own opinions to each of these.


Think about these things, and let me know what you think. Answer one or two, or answer all of them if you wish. Let your voice be heard.

These questions are in no particular order, but rather just randomly popping out of my evil little head.

*If you are going to benefit from Obama's redistribution of wealth, why do you deserve it?

*If you agree with Obama and redistribution of wealth, how much of your yearly income are you currently giving to people who have less than you?

*If you're not giving anything, why should someone else be forced to and you shouldn't?

*Does the American public have the same moral values it did 50 years ago? 20? 10?

*What happened to the value in having a good work ethic?

*Are "poor Americans" really "poor"?

*Do I have the right to tell you how to spend your free time? What about your money?

*What one thing would you most like to see President Elect Obama do in his term?

*At what point is someone considered "rich"?

*Should the media in all of its forms be moderated and forced to give both sides of an argument, or should we leave things as they are?

*At what point does freedom of speech conflict with "fairness" and/or the power of the dollar?

*Are the bailouts of the financial institutions and the auto industry good for our country and the value of the American dollar?

*Does JFK's quote "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country" have any meaning in the society of today?

Think these over. Some of them you may not care about. Others you may have some real passion for. A handful or more I'm sure many people have never even pondered.

Tell me, readers. I want to know what you think. I want us to to be able to have a discussion, debate or discourse.

I'll leave you with this: "A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves." - Edward R. Murrow

'Nuff said. The Bubba has spoken.

The Grand Rapids Griffins give more than big hits and high scores

Well, hello again to the brave few of you that may or may not be reading this!

Still haven't gotten much feed back on here, but hopefully that will all be changing soon. If not, I may just resort to writing a diary and keeping it to myself.

In the meantime, I wanted to share with you all a little story about the Grand Rapids Griffins. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Griffins, they are the AHL affiliate of the Detroit Red Wings. The fantastic part for us Red Wings fans who live on the West side of the state, we can get some great hockey games at very reasonable prices, and we get the benefit of seeing future (and sometimes former) Red Wings in action.

Here's the back story - My dad and I are season ticket holders for the Griffins, and unfortunately my dad had to go in for a quintuple bypass surgery on Halloween. ( I hinted at this in a previous post if you were wondering)

There were a lot of bad things about it, but one of his big gripes was having to miss a bunch of games.

Through some lucky meetings, my inquiry, and the generosity of the staff and players from the Griffins, I was able to get my dad one of the coolest get well presents ever.

Dad had joked about getting a stick signed by one of the players. I was able to out do that by quite a bit. Above is a photo of the stick I got from the equipment manager of the Griffins, which he had signed by not one player but the entire team!

I just wanted to give a public thanks to Brad and the whole team for taking a few moments of their time to do something to cheer up a man that they have never met. Too often in life it's the small acts of kindness that get over looked.

Thank you, Grand Rapids Griffins!!! You've earned a season ticket holder for life.

'Nuff said. The Bubba has spoken.

Obama proves his superior intellect

For the few of you that may read this blog, I'm sorry that this has become more political and less nerd stuff. I promise I'll get all nerdy on your asses soon enough, but for now, the cluster fuck that is our future government is concerning me greatly.

Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm has been named to Obama's Economic Transition Team. What the fuck was he thinking? Has he not seen what she has done to the economy in Michigan? That's like asking an alcoholic for advice on moderation.

Apparently if you're the Democratic version of Sarah Palin, you don't get ripped on for having zero qualifications. Oh, and we'll let the fact that you ran a state into the ground go unnoticed.

It doesn't matter that 5% of all the homes in Michigan are in foreclosure.

No one cares that we have a 9% unemployment rate. And in case you were wondering where Michigan ranks in the US, it would be dead last.

Nor does anyone give a fuck about the fact that there are 5 new automotive plants being built in the US, but not one of them will be built in the Motor City, let alone anywhere else in this state.

So explain to me, Obama supporters, why would your demi-god pick the person with the worst track record in the Democratic party? I truly don't know, and would love to hear your thoughts.

It's pretty sad when Bill Ballenger, editor of Inside Michigan Politics lists her strengths as "charismatic, a good public speaker, and she's outgoing." You know, Bob-fucking-Barker has all of those characteristics, too, but I don't want him anywhere near my tax dollars.

Ballenger went on to say he even thought that Granholm had a chance at being named the chair of the Democratic National Committee. For the love of God, I'd love to see that happen. Any of you Democrats that think the Republicans fucked things up, wait until you see the Super Team of Granholm and Obama.

Wonder Twin powers, get me the fuck out of here.

'Nuff said. The Bubba has Spoken.

OK, you lazy bastards, it's time for your free shit

Good lord are people fucking stupid. And what scares me the most is that it's people like this that just damned this country.




Welcome to the U.S.S.R of A.

Marxism has finally won. Say goodbye to your freedoms. You just traded them for a stimulus check.

'Nuff said. The Bubba has Spoken.

GET OUT AND VOTE

You don't have to agree with me, but do your patriotic duty and cast your vote.

No Vote = No Right to Bitch






'Nuff Said. The Bubba has Spoken.